First 24 Hours After Your Child Gets in Legal Trouble
TL;DR
Escondido defense attorney Richard S. Sterger says that when a child's situation could turn criminal, parents should stop talking to coaches, teachers, administrators and police, leave phones and social media untouched, and call a lawyer to learn what the milestones are. If another parent threatens to press charges, he explains that parents and police cannot press charges. Only the district attorney decides whether to file a petition, and the other family cannot withdraw it later.
- Once potential criminal trouble is coming, Sterger advises parents to stop talking to coaches, administrators, teachers and police.
- Deleting phone data or purging social media does not work, because investigators recover the files and deletion history and also get data from the platforms. Deleting can also be characterized as destroying evidence.
- Parents do not need to retain a lawyer immediately. A call can help them learn the milestones and when it makes sense to retain counsel.
- Parents and police cannot press charges. The police can refer a case to the district attorney's office, which decides whether to file a petition.
- A petition is filed by the people of the state of California, not by the complaining witness, so the other family cannot withdraw it.
- Once police are involved, trying to work things out with the alleged victim's parents is not an accurate view of how these cases proceed.
What should parents do first when their child gets in legal trouble?
Richard S. Sterger: The first thing is, if you see that there's potential criminal coming down the road, you stop talking. Stop talking to the coaches. Stop talking to the administrators. Stop talking to the teachers, and stop talking to the police.
Should we delete texts or social media after an arrest?
Richard S. Sterger: Don't delete things off the phone. Don't try and purge social media. First off, you won't be successful. The way they search these devices, the tools that they use, they find these things, and they also go to the platforms, and they get them from the platform. So you can create a trail that makes it look like you were destroying evidence, not just that you were like, "Hey, look. I don't want this problem. I'm clearing everything out of this. I want to be out of this," which is largely most people's motivations.
But that's not how it gets characterized. It gets characterized as you're destroying evidence. And it doesn't work. So stop clearing phones. Stop getting rid of phones. They're going to find all that data. They're going to find the history of when it was deleted, and they're likely going to even find the files that were deleted.
When should parents call a lawyer, and do they have to hire one?
Richard S. Sterger: And then you're going to contact an attorney. Even if you're just talking to an attorney to understand, "This is the way the situation is right now." A lot of times, my response is, "Okay. This is what's going to likely happen when it gets to this point." That's the point you need to make a serious decision on whether or not you want to retain counsel.
Talk to an attorney. You don't need to retain them immediately, but call us. Call us and ask. What do I do? What's going to happen? I don't have all the answers, but I can tell you what the milestones are, the mile markers you're looking for, and what that point is where you really might want to pull the trigger.
Can another parent press charges against my child?
Richard S. Sterger: The first thing is parents can't press charges. Police can't press charges. District attorneys press charges. The parent can report something to the police. The police can investigate that, and if the police find what they believe is sufficient probable cause that there was a crime committed, they can refer it to the district attorney's office, and then the district attorney's office can decide whether or not they're going to file a petition against your child. That's how it works.
They could report what they believe was the crime, and at that point, they have zero control really over how it goes down. If the police want to investigate it, they will. If they want to refer it to the district attorney's office, they will. If the district attorney's office wants to file a petition, they will. At the point that a petition is filed, it's filed by the people of the state of California, not by the complaining witness.
When you're talking about what do I do, you have to treat it as what's coming down the pike. If you hear from the police, you probably want to talk to a lawyer. You may want to talk to a lawyer beforehand and see if what they're reporting is really a risk to your child. If you get contacted by the police, you're going to want to talk to a lawyer. You're going to want to find out, what do I do at this point? At some point, there may become a point that you need to retain counsel. But at each of those stages, you need to be looking at what happens if.
[We hear this] all the time. "They told me that they don't want to go forward with charges." I'm like, too late.
Should we contact the alleged victim's family?
Richard S. Sterger: If you're trying to resolve this with the parents and the police are already involved, no. If there's something that's been reported to the school and it involves something criminal, then you don't want to be talking to the parents and trying to resolve this. It's out of their hands. You're talking to people that can't resolve this for you because they can't withdraw charges. They can't withdraw allegations, and the police aren't going to just stop investigating what was reported as a crime.
Between the mandatory reporting, what police's responsibility is, and who that responsibility is to, the idea that you're going to work this out between the parents once the police are involved is just not an accurate view of how these things proceed.
The system moves without the complaining witness all the time.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can the other family drop the charges against my child?
No. Richard S. Sterger explains that a petition is filed by the people of the state of California, not by the complaining witness. Once a report is made, the family has little control over whether police investigate or the district attorney files.
Should I clear my teen's phone after they get in trouble?
Sterger advises against deleting phone data or purging social media. Investigators can recover deleted files and the history of when they were deleted, and the deletion can be characterized as destroying evidence.
Who should my family stop talking to after an incident?
Once potential criminal trouble is coming, Sterger says to stop talking to coaches, administrators, teachers and the police.
Do I have to hire a lawyer right away?
Not necessarily. Sterger says you don't need to retain an attorney immediately, but a call can tell you what the milestones are and when it may be time to retain counsel.
Edited for length and clarity from a recorded conversation with Richard S. Sterger. Watch the full interview on YouTube.
